Your parent or older loved one is about to make the move to an assisted living community, and although you’ve worked hard to convince them it’s the right decision, you’re beginning to have second thoughts and doubts that it was the right thing for you to do.
Maybe you’re worried they’ll have trouble settling into their new surroundings. Or maybe you’re worried they’ll do so well and thrive amongst new friends that it will call into question whether the move was necessary at all.
It’s natural for adult children of older adults to experience these types of emotions. Many people can’t help but feel guilty, even if their parent is clearly struggling in their current home and a move to a senior living community is the right decision to make – not only for them but for you as well.
Here are some of thoughts that might be going through your head and a few suggestions on how to deal with them.
Guilty thought: “I’m taking away their independence.”
You may feel that they’ll lose their independence once they set foot in an assisted living community.
In fact, assisted living is a home-like setting where they can regain their independence. They won’t have to worry about home upkeep, cooking, cleaning, and yard maintenance. They can receive help with bathing, dressing, grooming, and managing their medications if they need it. Because all these worries are looked after, their days can be more enjoyable. You may be surprised by just how much their lives improve.
Check out our free ebook,
Guilty thought: “I didn’t do enough to support them.”
Even if you’ve been spending countless hours supporting your parents in their current home, you may still feel this way. After all, your parents spent years providing for you. The least you can do is return the favor.
But that can be difficult to do if your parents require daily support, especially if you have a family of your own and/or a full-time job. It gets even more complicated if you don’t live in the same town as they do.
Being a caregiver to your parents can take a toll on you and it can put stress on your relationship with them. A move to assisted living can alleviate these pressures and allow you to re-focus on being their son or daughter. And the support your parents get in assisted living would be hard to replicate in their current home.
Guilty thought: “I’m not sure they’ll like it in assisted living.”
Even if you feel they’ll be safer in assisted living, you may worry that they’ll find themselves surrounded by strangers. In fact, assisted living communities have organized activities and events – such as exercise classes, game nights, and social outings – that help residents stay socially connected. If your parents are getting isolated in their current home, they may actually end up being more socially active once they move to assisted living.
For more reasons not to feel guilty about convincing your parents to move to assisted living, check out our free ebook, Just the Facts: Your Guide to Assisted Living.